Going to Uganda in May - it's cancelled.
Just like that.
There's not an ounce of a doubt that God still holds the plan and sees the end, and that's an immense stronghold. It's the stronghold.
Still, it's difficult not to be hurting hard inside when you see what you felt sure to be His desire and answer...wash away. It's difficult not to be hurting hard inside when it's what you've longed for. I'm hurting hard inside because my plans turned upside down and I feel stuck and confused and disappointed.
Still, it's difficult not to be hurting hard inside when you see what you felt sure to be His desire and answer...wash away. It's difficult not to be hurting hard inside when it's what you've longed for. I'm hurting hard inside because my plans turned upside down and I feel stuck and confused and disappointed.
But no matter how many times I see my plans turn upside down, never once have His been altered. This isn't a surprise to Him...actually, somehow, it's part of His plan. This is where I have to cling to what I know He's taught me and that His plans will succeed. In His time. And in His way.
And though I don't know where to turn from here, I know I can turn to Him and I know He will guide me, one step further at a time. Like Gladys Aylward. Trusting one step at a time, brushing aside enormous set-backs and focusing on one thing: God's promise. Did I think it would be easy?
It's kind of uncanny, actually. Isn't this backwards? I was pretty sure the mission routine was that people want to stay here, and Jesus calls them there. Here I am dying to go and it's as if I'm standing in thick glue and I can't get over there for the life of me.
But maybe what I see as set-backs, God sees as stepping stones. Maybe what I see as years of waiting, God sees as years of preparation. Maybe what I see as tearing apart, He sees as building up. Maybe, what I see as impossible, God sees as possible, and maybe He sees the whole picture.
And though I don't know where to turn from here, I know I can turn to Him and I know He will guide me, one step further at a time. Like Gladys Aylward. Trusting one step at a time, brushing aside enormous set-backs and focusing on one thing: God's promise. Did I think it would be easy?
It's kind of uncanny, actually. Isn't this backwards? I was pretty sure the mission routine was that people want to stay here, and Jesus calls them there. Here I am dying to go and it's as if I'm standing in thick glue and I can't get over there for the life of me.
But maybe what I see as set-backs, God sees as stepping stones. Maybe what I see as years of waiting, God sees as years of preparation. Maybe what I see as tearing apart, He sees as building up. Maybe, what I see as impossible, God sees as possible, and maybe He sees the whole picture.
A couple years ago, I said 'yes.'
I said yes when He asked me to go and I will keep saying yes until He accomplishes His plan. Right now He is asking me to stay. And my answer, reluctant and shaky, is a firm desire to lay it in His strong hands and trust fully. 'Yes, Lord.'
I said yes when He asked me to go and I will keep saying yes until He accomplishes His plan. Right now He is asking me to stay. And my answer, reluctant and shaky, is a firm desire to lay it in His strong hands and trust fully. 'Yes, Lord.'
Wherever you lead, I'll follow.
I never thought it would be harder to stay than to go.
I never thought this road would be bigger than I imagined.
I never knew it would be this sweet to trust Him with it all.
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