Where is astonishing?

I was feeling rather discouraged.

Everywhere, surrounded, you read books and blogs and status's and see other people and you watch them living the big dream you're waiting for. 

This morning as I sat in my squishy chair with my pile of books sipping my Chai tea, I was a down-beaten adventurer wanna-be.

Where is the grand adventure...where is the big?

 

On Sunday we sat as a group of women studying the time of in-between single & marriage and I said "It's not in-between time. It's a time of purpose, where God has specific plans set for us to follow. It's not space-filler where we're waiting for our lives to begin. It's His time."

I said that. And then I slumped in my chair and looked at a day of high school work and dishes and plain-old, boring, normal life. Yeah, this space-filler where I'm waiting for my life to begin.

And then I read {THIS.} < [click. read. be encouraged by her normal, extraordinary journey.]

"Yet, in the midst of being surrounded by all of this glory, I found my mind and heart wandering.

Filled with questions and thoughts of comparison

I was not taking every thought captive

I was wondering what more could be done for the need that seems to palpate the dusty air.

I was wondering how I could meet the need.

I was letting the need drive me rather than His call.

I was struggling to have a spirit of contentment.

It was a battle, indeed."

 

...........................

 

"[But instead], I want them to be ASTONISHED

I want them to take note that I have been with my Savior

I want my mind to be fixed on Him

And, therefore, I want people to be fixed on Him when they see me

I do not want my mind to be fixed on how to better myself

On how to be more like THAT person or THIS person

I do not want to be fixed on how to meet THAT need 

How to feed ALL those people

I want my mind to be fixed on Him

Because He is the source

From which it will all come"

 

............................

And I saw that grand adventure isn't in the far away places. Ultimate call isn't in the human-measured size. It's in what God has for me, right at this moment. In the day when I choose to open my eyes to all the people around me right here and say 'yes' to Jesus and whatever he asks of right here.

That's astonishing.

Here is my identity. Here is my call. This is what I want.

"My existence is Him."