the great adventure: one step closer

I have some exciting news to share in this post. And it really deserves about 50 bajillion exclamation points as I try to hold in my bubbling anticipation.

Lots behind and lots before.

It's been waiting and praying, long nights and uncertain plans, and learning, learning, learning. And the final giving control over to His hands and feeling contentment in the here and now. It's sometimes in that final resting point, that place of sitting still and unexpectancy that anything is coming fast that He chooses to open a door.

As always, the door is left open for God to lead otherwise if He wills, but as of now - I am on a team of five girls traveling to Uganda next spring. We will be volunteering at Amani Baby Cottage, an orphanage (currently of about 70 kids) in Jinja, for about a 3 1/2 week period, with another week of travel to and from. We will be doing everything from daily care of the kids, teaching Bible lessons, to projects at the orphanage. 

I cannot express how excited I am. I've been praying for an opportunity like this for so long now, and I can't believe that in 6 month's time I could actually be, for real, in Africa. Cuddling the kids I have prayed for, and longed to be with since it all began. To see the story further unfold and watch Him work. Right now it's more of a stunned day dream than reality - I don't want to get so locked on it that I'm not open to hear God if for some reason He leads differently.

It's a very strange thing, though. In all my dreaming and praying and learning, I never really considered fear as part of the process. I could imagine what it'd be like to step off the plane on the other side of the world from my home, but I felt that by the time it was happening, I would feel totally ready.

Yet, there's a part of me that got the "YES" and goes, "Wait, what? Like I'm actually doing this?" Now that vaccines and flights and mosquito nets and boiled water and details and red dirt are becoming a reality, it's really tempting to get scared fast. To feel seriously unprepared, incapable. Insane. There's a whole lot of details that I never even thought about, and it's stunning how quickly I can want to say, "Nope, I decided I'm not ready after all!"

But it comes back to the same reality He's been working to shake all through me this whole journey: I don't have to be ready. Or capable. In fact, I can be the complete flip-side. The fact is, my God's power is made perfect in weakness, and He loves to use unlikely people like me to accomplish His kingdom work and be His hands and feet. It's not me doing big things for God - it's God doing big things through me. As I continually offer up a willing, open, tattered, weak, and fully dependent-on-Him heart, He will work the miracle. If God has a task to accomplish through me on this trip, I am confident that He will complete it, whether I feel ready or totally lost.

So, I am absolutely thrilled. I cannot wait to meet with my team and put more pieces together, and be there. And I cannot wait to watch what my God unfolds in this new journey.

It is increasingly extraordinary, is it not?!